


Through the Ages

by msrefreshing



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Katsuki Yuuri's Anxiety, Katsuki Yuuri's Victor Nikiforov Posters, M/M, POV Katsuki Yuuri, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27015841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msrefreshing/pseuds/msrefreshing
Summary: A journey through Yuuri's life with screenshots at different ages as he overcomes his anxiety and falls in love with Viktor.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Kudos: 32





	Through the Ages

Age 13:

Yuuri hangs up another poster of Viktor Nikiforv in his room and stares at his own pair of skates. Ordinary and dull, compared to the gold plates of his idol. He remembers the motivation behind his skating from his childhood - just the want to be alone with no one to make jabs at his second guessing and stutter. He’s already proving himself in the junior division but knows his sights are far higher. He admires the poster one more time before climbing into bed and dreaming up fantasies of gold medals and Grand Prix finals, just like the silver-haired teenager on his wall. 

Age 15:

Yuuri watches Viktor’s senior debut performance over and over until the melody gets stuck in his head, along with other professional skaters. It’s a cycle of motivation followed by the dread of feeling like he’ll never be on those skater’s levels every time he does this. He goes back to Ice Castle for another few hours until his feet ache and he’s as numb as the ice. _Just one more run through, just one more run through._ He does three more. 

Age 17:

Yuuri looks up different colleges and training centers while Vicchan sleeps next to him. If he ever thinks for more than a passing thought that he won’t know when the next time he’ll live in the same place as his family again once he moves, he’ll break down and stop dead in his tracks. He’s gained a spot in the competitive world but he still remembers the ten year old just using the ice as an escape. Nowadays, there’s no escape from the ice, on it or off. The silver-haired skater has already made a name for himself in the senior division and has started to land quadruple flips. Yuuri is running to catch up to someone he’s never met but also just trying to outrun his mind. 

Age 19:

Yuuri watches in awe as Viktor receives his first gold medal at the Grand Prix final. The idea of standing on that stage fills his heart with determination but even moreso, with fear. Of never getting there. Of wasting all this time. Of being a failure to his family and Japan. He rushes out of his room back to the ice and tries to land jumps he’s never been able to. He’s been getting letters and scholarships for schools all over the world for him to come practice but he can’t narrow it down. Images of long silver hair flash through his mind as he falls again and again but keeps getting up to try another time. He doesn’t know who he’s practicing for anymore, just what his goal is. 

Age 20:

Yuuri moves to Detroit after a few panic attacks and a hard goodbye to his family and Vicchan. He says he’ll visit soon but he has no idea if that will actually happen. He meets his new coach and tries to push the homesick feeling away. English feels weird on his tongue. He has less posters of the famous Russian skater on his walls here. Yuuri’s now watched him win two Grand Prix finals and qualify for the Worlds. At his age, by this time in a year, Viktor was already competing as an Olympian. He remembered the poster in his room back at home of him in his Russian Olympic jacket. His heart races just thinking about it. He would catch up to him. Some days though, Yuuri thinks he could settle for just being able to talk to him.

Age 23:

Yuuri’s finally done it. He’s qualified for the Grand Prix circuit at the Southern Regional Championships. He’s just a few steps away from skating on the same ice as Viktor and other high-level skaters. Maybe he’ll be able to return to Japan and his family with pride. Maybe his country and the other skaters will celebrate him. 

In the end though, all he feels is regret. He should’ve visited Vicchan more, instead of just focusing on his namesake. He should’ve practiced and pushed himself more. He tries to be optimistic for the Japan Nationals competition but that just ends in another panic attack and performance that looks more like an amatuer trying to pretend he’s a professional. He doesn’t know where to go from here. He returns to college and stops responding to his coach, his family, and even Pitchit. He can’t take his imagined disappointment in their voices.

Age 25:

Yuuri’s going back home. There’s an imaginary weight off his shoulders and part of him feels like he can breathe for the first time in months, maybe years. He imagines his mother’s katsudon, his sister’s bickering, his dance teacher’s studio, and the ice that became more of his home than any other place. Before he graduates and leaves Detroit, he starts to wonder what his future is in skating. He doesn’t know if he has another year in him. He has a degree in sports medicine now so it’s not like he can’t find a job somewhere else and quietly retire. He wouldn’t ever stop skating completely but he could let go of the competition aspect. But there’s a part of him that’s not done fighting. He still aches to be on that stage and it doesn’t matter anymore where Viktor is. 

Speaking of his idol, he’s now won five World Championships, four Grand Prix Finals, and is once again competing for the Russian Olympic Team. How did he ever think he would catch up to him? He decides to stop comparing himself to Viktor and try to just look up to him as he did once. He watches old videos of Viktor that he used to draw inspiration from and decides to try to perfect one. Just to prove he can do it. He’s able to do it in just a few weeks before leaving Detroit. 

He’s finally home and he’s so relieved he could cry. There’s still a bit of shame that tinges the happiness and guilt when he prays for Vicchan. But it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s home and not under the spotlight. He performs his tribute to Viktor for Yuuko at his home ice and feels his love for skating start to return in those few minutes. _I’m not done. I’ll skate on the same ice as Viktor again one day,_ he decides. Before he knows it, the same person he’s looked up to his entire life is standing right in front of him, giving him the offer of a lifetime.

Also Age 25:

Yuuri falls in love, real heart-wrenching, give anything up for you, follow you to the ends of the earth, kind of love, for the first time. He thinks to himself that really it’s the second time but the first time he fell in love with someone, it was of the idea of them. How confusing for him that they were both with the same person. 

VIktor and Yuuri slowly learn everything about each other as he coaches him. Yuuri falls for every part of Viktor - the part that’s his coach, his friend, his competitor, his colleague. There was no helping it. Viktor didn’t make it that difficult either.

What’s more surprising to Yuuri is that Viktor falls for him too. He was used to the anxiety of skating, but the inferiority complex he's been building up for twelve years now wasn’t going away overnight. Viktor comforts him every time, whispering as they fall asleep, “ _I’m not going anywhere. We’re not competing right now, love. You have all the potential in the world. Let me show you. Let me let you show yourself.”_

And eventually he does. When he hears that he beat Viktor’s record at the Grand Prix Finals, his heart stops. When he wins silver and finally gets to stand on the medal stage, he’s not thinking of Viktor, of his family, of Japan, although all of those thoughts follow soon after. He’s thinking of the ten year old that loved to skate, of the seventeen year old choosing to really pursue his dream, of the twenty-three year old that failed but didn’t give up. Then the thoughts of those who love him, the ones who inspired his skating and help ease his anxiety-ridden mind everyday, rush in with a burst of serotonin. He really isn’t fighting alone anymore.

Age 26:

Yuuri doesn’t know how he got here but he knows for the first time, he’s truly where he belongs. Every day, he wakes up and does what he loves with the person he loves. He trains harder than he ever has before and at the same time, his mind is no longer against him every step of the way. He watches his once-idol and best friend gracefully skate across the ice practicing choreography and wonders how the judges will react to Viktor’s new concepts inspired by the Japanese skater himself. 

Yuuri looks down at the gold ring on his left hand and smiles in awe again. He knows the ring and its matching one are more important than any gold medal he’ll ever win but that doesn’t mean he’s done trying. Yuuri loves skating more than ever. The last year changed his perspective on pretty much everything and Viktor encouraging him to see a therapist during their small break from skating after the Grand Prix was probably long overdue. He still says in contact with her and she’s there for video calls if Yuuri ever starts to feel himself slip back into old mindsets again. 

He’s pulled out of his reveries as Viktor pulls him back on the ice to continue their lesson. _“Yuuri, let’s keep practicing your quad flip. You’re still over-rotating 20% of the time but you’re getting better every time!”_ He warms up again and prepares for his now favorite jump. How could it not be when it earned him his first kiss with Viktor Nikiforv on national television? Yuuri lets the thrill of skating and his love for his coach overtake him again as he glides across the ice and successfully lands the jump with Viktor cheering in front of him.

Age 50:

Yuuri wakes up late next to his silver-haired skater. Instead of posters of Viktor hung up on his walls, there’s now pictures of the two of them and their families scattered around their house. He watches as the other man slowly wakes up and smiles at him. He never gets tired of seeing it, of watching Viktor slowly wake up in the mornings. He gets up to make the two breakfast, passing by their many gold medals hung up on the wall. Yuuri made good on his promise to add a couple gold medals to his collection and Viktor made good on his promise to marry Yuuri right afterwards. Yuuri knows he would’ve done it anyway, but the timing sure did work out. They enjoy the late breakfast together, talking about how well their students are doing and giving each other suggestions on practice techniques. They’re both well-renowned coaches now - Viktor always able to inspire confidence in his students and Yuuri always reminding students to go at their own pace and maintain a healthy level of determination. They’re a strong pair and their students are forces to be reckoned with both in the junior and senior division. 

But Viktor and Yuuri themselves are also forces to be reckoned with. Their love is as strong as ever even after 25 years together. Sometimes Yuuri still wakes up thinking he’s in a dream and he’s going to wake up back in his childhood room racing to catch up to his idol, but then he comes to and realizes that’s not reality anymore. The silver-haired skater he dreamed of for so long is now his muse and they have their own new dreams together. And with that thought, he walks up to his awe-inspiring idol, his coach on the ice and best friend off the ice, and kisses him for what feels like ages. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed it, that makes me the happiest person in the world. Let me know what you think :)


End file.
